Zephyr n. the west wind, named for the ancient Greek God Zephyrus; any gentle breeze.You would be standing next to Tom, or sitting for that matter and all of a sudden he would turn his head quickly and say, "Did you see that?" and well, of course, you didn't, but, he would then explain, "Those damn, zephyrs...always buzzing around..." He'd complain about the noise they would make under his bed at night whenever they were making love...of course, I would crack up laughing...even more so, when we were in public and one would go whizzing by...under the table and he would react...everyone else would look perplexed...<grin>. Hmmm, I guess you had to be there. Seems you've got this repression cycle nailed. My blood boiled over the whole situation...so frustrating. Perhaps, you grab her passionately, throw her down upon the bed and demand that she ....no, that wouldn't work....ah, maybe, it's gentle, cajoling, and manipulative...but, you've already tried these things.... ah, yes, I know what it is...that has the best chance of waking her up...shaking her up....knowing about me. But, who would willingly put themselves under that kind of scrutiny? Not I. You seem to protect her from herself, however...as if by helping create the picture that she lives within, you perpetuate it somehow. Creating it comes from self-protection...and I most certainly understand that concept. That was my motivation for repression this past long year and a half.... Who willingly subjects themselves to another person's anger, anxiety, frustration and destructive actions? I did for awhile, but no more. It does look somewhat bleak for you...unless, something spurs her interest or desire for self-expression. You can encourage, but only she can actually begin the process...it can be so depressing...and even now as I go through all this upheaval...and yes, turmoil, it is worth it knowing that he will be a better person for it and in many ways, so will I. ...he loves the results, but despises the means to achieve them.... xptm50a © 1998 ASE